It is Rape If…

Originally posted at Learn.Love.Live.

it wasn't rape

I believe the key to the prevention of sexual assaults of all kinds is the education of men & women as to what is acceptable in a sexual relationship. 

  1. Sexual activity involves clear consent. It is rape if she/he is too drunk, sick, drugged, tired, asleep, or otherwise unable to consent. It is also rape if she/he is unable to consent due to age, subordinate position, or disability.
  2. Consent must be freely given. If you “wear her/him down” by asking every ten minutes, not allowing her/him to sleep, threatening her/his social or financial position, or implying that something is wrong with her/him for not being willing, it is still rape.
  3. Her/his dress, morality, and lifestyle are irrelevant. How many people she/he has slept with previously is irrelevant to the fact that she/he did not agree to this act. The fact that you think she/he is a “tease” or “flirt,” or is “asking for it” does not excuse rape.
  4. His/her relationship with her/him is irrelevant. Date and acquaintance rape is much more common than stranger rape. What matters is that she/he said no, not that she/he was dating him/her, was in the room with him/her, or even had slept with him/her previously. It is rape even if they are married.
  5. Nothing entitles a man/woman to sex. Even if he/she takes her/him out for the night, buys her/him dinner, has her/him over in his/her apartment, that does not entitle him/her to sex.
  6. It is still rape if she/he did not struggle and/or is not physically injured. It is a natural human response to fear to freeze and be unable to respond. It is also still rape if she/he has mixed feelings about him/her afterwards, does not call it rape, or even agrees to sleep with him/her later.
  7. Rape does not necessarily involve penile penetration. Sexual assault invovles any kind of non-consensual sexual activity. It is still rape even if his/her body responded – this merely means that the nervous system is functioning, not that the victim enjoyed it.
  8. Rapes victims look like anyone. Rape happens to men and women, irrelevant of orientation. It happens in poor communities and upscale towns.
  9. Rapists also look like anyone. They can be top students, upstanding religious leaders, police officers, doctors. They do not generally look “creepy” – she/he probably wouldn’t have gone with him/her if he/she hadn’t been nice at first.
  10. Rape is always the rapists fault, never the victims. Also, there are very few false reports of rape (FBI estimates around 98% of rape reports are true). Many go unreported. The victim deserves to be believed and supported when she/he speaks up, no matter who she/he is.

This is just a short list of what constitutes sexual assault.  There are many other circumstances that we could discuss and we will in future posts.


~ by After Silence on August 27, 2009.

One Response to “It is Rape If…”

  1. I just posted on the use of rape language in business. I suspect the word is being misappropriated there because managers feel impotent sitting at a desk all day.

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