My Story… Part Three


I am going to take a different strategy for the next perpetrator.  A few months ago I wrote a poem to him, of course I never actually planned on him reading it. I guess there is a chance by putting it on the net that he will now. If so, then so be it.

Small and compact – a body full of muscles.
Dark hair and eyes with a mischievous smile.

I did not invite you in for a grope that night.
What gave you the right?

My friendship wasn’t good enough?
If only…

There were no words between us, just your Judas kiss…
Your hands on my skin, under my shirt, and lower still.

Were you afraid of me?
Is that why you waited until I was overcome by sleep?
What power could I have?

Why? Why the lies?
Did you think deceit would protect you?
What about me?

I do not understand why my silence was rewarded with more betrayal.
But what’s slander between friends.

My friends were no longer mine – you won.
But at what cost? Was it worth living with a sin against a friend?

Do you regret it?
All these years I hoped to hear your sorrow,
But not a word has passed from your lips to my ears.

The thing is, I forgave you that night all those years ago.
You never bothered to ask.

Yes, he was my friend and to be honest aftermath upset me just as much as the violation that night. I am not saying that the touching didn’t bother me, that would be a lie. But the betrayal of a friendship was just a bad if not worse. He lied to protect himself and thus made his friends choose sides. I had been perfectly content NOT to share it with anyone, other than the additional two people in the house that night. I couldn’t really keep it from them. But of course, nothing is ever easy and things went all wrong. Our friends hated to have to pick between us and so I was left feeling that no one believed me. It hurt, I fully admit it.

That has been a long time ago and I have been able to work through a lot of that hurt and come out the other side. I think I am a better friend for it and I hope he learned a lesson in all of it and is better for it too.

Originally posted at Learn.Love.Live.


~ by After Silence on August 27, 2009.

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