Boys Will Be Boys…
I was reading a discussion about a Swedish prosecutor who doesn’t know when to shut up over at Mortality’s Thoughts and couldn’t resist commenting myself.
There is a prosecutor who works in Stockholm. A few weeks ago in an interview with Sweden’s biggest newspaper he said,
“If you take a man and a woman who know each other and the woman says she doesn’t feel like it today and the man goes on anyway. Sure, it’s not very nice but not worth two years in prison”
This is the same man who said during a recent debate,
“Not having intercourse with someone against their will is an excellent social rule, but it fits more in a book on etiquette than in a law book.”
WTF? So my rapist just wasn’t very nice to me. Yeah, sure I was only thirteen and he was married with a kid and one more on the way. But he knew me and I just didn’t want to do it that day. He’s just a jerk, but since when do we send jerks to prison?
Yeah I know this is happening in Sweden, not here in the good ol’ United States of America. But don’t fool yourself into thinking that these kinds of thoughts aren’t prevalent here. It’s the whole “is it really worth ruining some poor boy’s life over something like this” mentality.
I recently had an old friend ask me if I felt one of my perpetrators deserved time in jail and should be on the sex offenders list. The “boy” he was asking about had assaulted me in my sleep. He did not rape me, but he did violate me none-the-less.
The question took my breath away. Immediately I wondered why he would ask me something like that. Did he NOT think my perp deserved punishment for committing a crime? Was I not harmed by what this “boy” had done to me? Was his being able to live his life without the harm of prison & shame from being on “the list” more important than the shame and harm I had to deal with as a result of the assault? It felt like a slap in the face.
Yes, I do think he deserved prison for what he did. Yes, I think he should be on the sex offenders list. He committed a crime. Yes he was young and stupid, but does that make what he did any less harmful?
This “boys will be boys” shit has got to stop! It does no one any good. It harms our boys and our girls. Our society needs to wake up and realize that we are at least partly responsible for the violence so prevalent in our communities. We have to stop turning a blind eye and hold criminals accountable for their actions. Not just the scary criminals you see in dark alleyways, but also the ones taking our daughters to the prom or playing baseball with our sons. Nothing is going to change until we take a stand.