The silence of our friends

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. ~MLK

I was looking at Martin Luther King, Jr. quotes this morning; after all he was one of the wisest men of our times and it is MLK day.  The above quote struck me to my core.  Dr. King was speaking on a large scale but this is true for each and everyone of us.

In all that has happened to me over the years, I can truly say that the hardest part to get past was the silence of my friends.  What they might have deemed as not “taking sides,” I saw as indifference.  I still struggle to see how someone close to me could see the pain I was in and then look me in the face and tell me that they just didn’t know what to think because my perpetrator was their friend too.

I understand being torn. I really do.  The thing I find disturbing is that the friends I had that said these things, thought they were being loving and caring towards me.  They did not see why I took it personally that they could not take sides. They wanted to be able to say that they didn’t know who to believe without me assuming that they were questioning my honesty.  If you don’t believe me, so be it – but don’t tell me that doesn’t reflect badly on your opinion of me.  That’s just bull.

I know it can be hard to speak out about things. It can be scary to put yourself out there.  But sometimes you have to make a choice between good and evil. You can’t stand silently in the background & let evil rein.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. ~MLK

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~ by After Silence on January 17, 2011.

4 Responses to “The silence of our friends”

  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kimberly and others. Kimberly said: New blog post – The Silence of Our Friends http://bit.ly/eOJebH #MLK #MLKday [...]

  2. This post struck home for me. I personally have not been assaulted but a dear old friend was raped. I’ve been disappointed in how silent some mutual friends have been as we watch her life spiral out of control as she battles the aftermath of the crime. I can understand being fearful of not saying the “right” thing but get over it. Here is a blog some friends and I started trying to find a way to make people aware and start more conversations about rape and other sexual assault.
    http://ididntaskforit.wordpress.com/

    Thank you for putting yourself out there!

  3. I feel this is really true. I’m having a hard time talking about what happened or even going to see someone. How did you do it? The friends I have told do nothing about it and blow it away. Granted I only tell them when we’ve been drinking because I get loose lips. I’ve really admired what you’ve written on almost all of your blog post. Thank you for everything you say. It helps everyday.

  4. That you for the post, I love that quote.

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